Ken’s Sensuality Expansion Program
From the moment I enrolled in Erwan Davon Teachings’ Sensuality Expansion Program my sensual life began to explode. I applied myself to having regular DO dates with women from the community – these women were always gracious, willing to do research and to learn together with me. This alone made me more confident and deepened my intimacy with the women in my life beyond what I have ever experienced before.
By the time the formal part of the program began I truly felt on the verge of a major breakthrough in my relationships with women. What I did not anticipate was the depth of spiritual and psychological training – and how critical this training is in order to truly “learn to create a full-bodied Orgasmic state at will and for extended duration,” as the Erwan Davon Teachings website describes one of the results of the Sensuality Expansion Program.
After moving into Alicia and Erwan’s loft to begin the program – a beautiful space with plenty of light, growing plants and statues and symbols to remind one of our essential spiritual nature – the first “exercise” was called the “Resolution.” The objective of the Resolution was for me to realize my perfection. I was confronted by this because, while I knew intellectually that I was perfect, I didn’t actually feel perfect. What was very quickly revealed to me were all of the places in my life where I pretend things are “ok” when in fact there was some incompleteness – places where I was not willing to feel the pain/discomfort of what was so. With prompting from Erwan, I allowed myself to touch in deeply with my inherent sense of inadequacy to its very core. I looked at each area of my life where I felt any incompleteness and got into agreement with what was so in this area – allowing myself to feel through the sense of “not good enough” to the Reality. I went through past and current relationships, my relationship to authority, to money, to my health. I got to a place of completeness with each area, with my entire life. I was complete – I had realized my perfection. I cried tears of joy to realize how simple and profound it is to move through this veil of imperfection to the Reality of who we really are. I was ready to begin my training.
The core of the Sensuality Expansion Program training for me was to become proficient at DOing – putting my full attention on a deliberate orgasm for my partner, and experiencing the orgasm in my body as well. This began with technical training on the DOing technique and moved progressively to the deep feeling connection and the realization of Oneness that is heightened in the orgasmic state. With this as an intention, all of the things that get in the way of this showed up for me: my tendency to “be at effect” or to get lost in my own emotional experience rather than being a conscious presence for my partner, my bias against going down, the places where I hold back, where I keep myself small. And learning these critical lessons while handling a woman’s pussy and experiencing orgasmic bliss.
After each DOing session I was given the assignment of writing about the experience. This exercise had me keenly aware of what was happening in the session and where I could improve. The sessions were exquisite. Bringing my finger on to the swollen, wet clit of my partner, feeling our connection, and stroking her most sensitive place in order to bring her into the orgasmic high she was longing for, feeling the bright, intense pleasure of our desire and its fulfillment. These were all beautiful, heart-opening experiences allowing us to deepen our intimacy and love for each other – all with the attitude of sensuality researchers and without the attachments and neediness that were so common in my past relationships with women.
I learned many profound, subtle lessons in the process and fundamentally they all came down to one thing: be willing to experience whatever is going on, get in agreement with it, and feel it to the very bottom. With Alicia and Erwan’s expert guidance I worked/played through my DOing sessions. I became intensely aware when I felt something uncomfortable (usually because I had an idea in my head that did not accord with what was really going on) and learned to increase my intention in order to feel through this. And with my increased intention came intensified connection and pleasure for my partner and for me.
The Sensuality Expansion Program enabled a significant, life-changing shift in my relationship with women. Before the Sensuality Expansion Program I was focused on what I could get out of the relationship: satisfaction of my lust, ego-gratification, service – whatever. During the Sensuality Expansion Program I learned to put my attention on satisfying her desire. And along the way discovered that I am happiest when the woman I am with has a strong appetite for pleasure and fun – and that I have the ability to cause that in her. I saw that DOing begins when we say “hello” to each other and is a continuous dance of communication throughout the relationship.
The last four days of my Sensuality Expansion Program took place at a nearby wooded retreat center – beautiful, warm sunny days and cool nights with many friends from the community to support me as I moved toward completion of the program. My final certification came on Sunday morning with a series of more and more focused, intentional DOing sessions with my friend Amy. Amy is a true goddess — gorgeous, turned-on and infinitely gracious in agreeing to be my partner. Everything was stacked in my favor. The following taste of the experience is from my journal recounting the last DO date of my Sensuality Expansion Program:
“I paused briefly to feel where the orgasm wanted to go and felt the pull to a higher level. I brought my finger to the upper left hand quadrant of her clitoris and discovered some light, almost teasing strokes. Amy asked in ecstatic delight, “oooh, my god, what are you doing?” and we emerged onto a new level of blissful connection. We kept moving higher into this new domain, which almost took my breath away and cleared my brain with crystalline, bright Reality.”
When we finished the date, those gathered to support me gave “two thumbs up” and cheered the successful completion of my Sensuality Expansion Program.
Now that it has been a couple of days since the end of the Sensuality Expansion Program, I am left with immense gratitude to Alicia and Erwan for creating the possibility for the depth of learning and the heights of pleasure I experienced during the two weeks of the program. I would have received nothing without their unfailing love and commitment to my transformation. Sometimes the hardest lessons are the ones we learn the most from. Alicia and Erwan are not afraid to administer tough love when necessary – and with me it is often necessary. I am also grateful for all of the people who supported me in the process and in particular all of the beautiful women who agreed to be research partners with me. Without their generous approval and patient guidance I would not have been able to complete the program. The program is now over. I am whole, complete and perfect. And my Being radiates with this precious realization and blessing.