Advanced Masculine Feminine Dynamics Part 4

In many spiritual traditions, the masculine is considered the consciousness and the feminine is considered the incarnated. Now, both consciousness and the incarnated are both considered to come from the absolute. The absolute is kind of like nothingness, the great void, the great mystery. From that blossoms consciousness, which is typically considered to be masculine. Within that consciousness is that which we are conscious of, that which is incarnated, the material, the substantial.

It’s a very useful way of looking at it because you can follow that all the way down to really good masculine-feminine dynamics which is a guy really learning to pay attention and a woman really learning to receive that attention pleasurably and gain the kind of attention that she wants. We all know that sometimes a woman receives attention in a way that she doesn’t want to receive attention, right? It’s a very useful paradigm, to kind of broaden the paradigm I should say, into this paying attention and being attended to. It goes right to the heart of the masculine and feminine.

I know for me, there’s a sort of a light bulb that goes off when I see it that way; really learning to pay attention to Alicia. Because, I’ve noticed that when Alicia’s feeling good, I feel good. When Alicia’s not feeling good, I definitely don’t feel as good. And it’s not like the reverse isn’t true. Of course, if I’m not feeling good, it impacts Alicia. But, it’s kind of different actually. There’s just something that really works well about her energy and vibration and happiness having a kind of a centrality in the relationship.

I’m a big fan of the ancient Chinese saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” I really do think there’s something about when the feminine element in the equation is happy. There’s a certain energy that lights up the whole relationship. If you notice, most good romance movies or most romance movies period, but especially the good ones, really revolve around the woman learning to receive that attention and have what she wants and enjoy what she wants and do that in a way where the guy really wins. The guy is really approved of in that and, it’s often the woman starts being nice basically and starts getting what she wants. And the guy kind of pulls his head out of you-know-where and learns to pay attention to her and realizes that, “Wow, she’s the magic.” Like that. It’s a very common theme in romance movies. And it really works.

If we look at the more spiritual concept of the masculine being consciousness and the feminine being incarnated, it really speaks to that dynamic that we can bring down all the way to masculine-feminine relationships in our life, in our lived life. Really acknowledge the difference between the feminine and the masculine. That’s what we focused on in the first session: what is the difference between the feminine and the masculine? That there is actually a difference and acknowledging that difference creates that polarity. When we acknowledge that difference, we start to feel the energy, the magnetism between the two.

Now, again, if we zoom out to that more spiritual perspective, we realize that, “Okay, we’re all incarnated, right?” Men and women are both incarnated. We all exist inside of consciousness if we look at it from a more spiritual perspective. You could say, the Big Mind, that’s sort of a Buddhist term. You could say God, that’s kind of a Judea-Christian type of terminology. The soul, the individual human being, masculine or feminine, is considered feminine from the perspective of the larger whole. This consciousness and that which is incarnated, or masculine and feminine, can operate with that distinction at many different levels. It’s useful realizing that, “Okay, incarnated, whether you’re male or whether you’re female, you have a body, you are incarnated.” Yes, you have being-ness and consciousness but you also are a being. An individual, a soul, if you will.

It helps to kind of get that feeling. Especially, it helps guys get that feeling of, “What is it to be material, elemental, incarnated?” The sensitivity of that. The vulnerability of that. That it’s something that starts, has existence for a period of time, and then ends. It’s very vulnerable in a way. It’s very impermanent. It’s kind of delicate, if you will, because, as beings, as human beings, we’re vulnerable to all kinds of stuff.

It also can help us understand a woman’s perspective, or the feminine perspective, of what it’s like to have that kind of vulnerability. As a being, we’re seen, we’re there. We’re not just an open consciousness. For a woman, it’s that much more. Especially if a woman is turned on, if a woman’s appetite is really rolling. In fact, that’s what we’ve seen as the distinguishing factor between the feminine and the masculine, and in most cases between a female and a male, is that appetite and that desire. That bright energy, that attractive force. The appetite is the attractive force. It draws attention not only in many mammal species, but in any species that polarizes into masculine and feminine. The feminine part, it draws attention. It has a desire and for mammals, those mammals go into heat in different lunar cycles and solar cycles and different situations. The feminine participant attracts the male gaze, the male attention.

By zooming out into this more spiritual way of looking at masculine and feminine as consciousness and incarnated, it can help all of us better understand a woman’s perspective.

Alicia Davon