Real Life #1 – Real Life and Relationship

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Actual life. The one that is happening. What is really happening? Being is happening. Being means existence… is realness. Something being. Realness is the highest, most subtle, ultimately it is not even a dimension, it is the nature, the actual existence of everything. You can feel it now, substantially… Being is not body, heart or mind (but includes them). Being is our true nature, the deepest, most real part of ourselves. It is a category of experience usually overlooked, but is actually our core. In this series we’ll explore our deepest nature as well as what is real for us experientially at the level of body, heart and mind. At the level of body, heart and mind, one of the things we find REALLY going on for people are relationship issues, repetitions patterns. I don’t mean theoretically… I don’t even mean in the future or the past… A person’s blueprint for life has a relationship blueprint right at the center, which includes one’s sense of self (self identity) and sense of other (superego, modeled primarily on the mother and early caregivers) The super ego is the designer, the handler, the inner parent, the survival program. It seems to be god speaking. The self-identity is split into 2 parts 1. Deflated 2. Defensive The deflated part is the wounded part of us… ignored…. hurt… sad… scared… and so on. The defensive part aims to protect us from others, from the super ego, from certain emotions and experiences. The four primary themes that the defensive shell of the self identity forms around are: 1. Inflated (narcissistic) 2. Mean (anti-social, controlling, etc.) 3. Soft (capitulating, enmeshed, lack of center) 4. Avoidant (schizoid) Everyone uses all 4, but their identity usually has a preferred method which can be hard to distinguish for them because reality just seems that way (others are less than, others need to be avoided, etc.) Although things going on at the mind/heart (and to a lesser degree body) level are less real, they still are real to us and must be dealt with. This facilitates openness to Being and Reality because we don’t get caught in those mind/heart/blueprint stories if they are not there. At the same time Being/Reality can is always present and accessible because it is another category of experience

Alicia Davon