Peaking & testing in pick up

Now that you have attracted the other person and you are flowing through the stages of picking them up you must know how to read the person. Where are they at in the process? Are they really bonding with you? Should you sensualize things?

You can find this out easily by testing or qualifying the other person. This means asking them a question. To test bonding ask him or her a deep personal question like “What is something you’ve never told anyone?” To test sexual attraction ask a sexy question like “If you could be kissed anywhere besides your lips where would that be?”

If they refuse to answer or give a weak answer then you know they aren’t at that stage yet. If their answer connects you to them or sizzles with sexuality then you know you’re past that stage and can escalate the interaction.

You can also test where things are at by escalating the touching or trying to move them to a different location and see how they respond.

Testing or qualifying the person makes you more attractive because you are checking them out, i.e. you put yourself in the role of decision maker instead of chasing them. You want to screen them not need them!

Peaking the interaction or deliberately breaking your connection with the other person, the way commercials break TV programming, is the next critical skill for both sex but especially guys.

If you don’t peak the interaction and go in reverse sometimes two things can happen. First, intensity “blow out.” You and/or they “blow out”, lose consciousness and become paralyzed because the interaction is too fast, too intense, too confronting. Second, you can appear needy if you don’t mix it up and push them away a little here and there.

For example, if you are escalating the touch to check out where things are at, don’t leave your hand on her arm too long. That would be awkward. Remove it. Or joke around playfully about how she’s not the right girl for you.

Hexing or teasing, which we covered a few weeks ago, is another way a guy can peak the interaction by creating a little dip. Male hexing is a way of showing her that he can handle her. Female hexing or teasing is a way of testing and seeing if he can handle her.

Alicia Davon