His and hers relationship hang-ups

One of the most common questions that people ask me, whether they are married, boyfriend/girlfriend or dating is some version of how do I get my partner to either approve of me more or pay more attention to me.  With men it is typically, “How do I get her to approve of me more?”  With women it is typically, “How do I get him to pay more attention to me?”

Men’s biggest relationship hang-up is not paying attention.  This infuriates women and he pays, although he often doesn’t know what he is paying for!

Women’s biggest relationship hang-up is not being authentically approving when asking for what the want.  The result is guys don’t listen and stay dumb (if you’ll excuse me for being so blunt).

You may start to see that a vicious circle has formed.  The more she disapproves the less attention he pays and the less attention he pays the more disapproving she is.  This is the unfortunate circumstance of many relationships.  Hence why we sometimes say when teaching the Pleasure Course, “Guys are dumb and women are mean.”

The good news is that if either partner is willing to acknowledge their hang-up and give it up, slowly but surely the relationship will correct.  It doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen.  When a he starts paying more attention she get’s a lot more approving.  When she starts getting more approving (while not compromising what she wants, I should add) he starts paying more attention.

This is some of the best relationship advice I could give you.  You may find love you didn’t know you had in your current love life.  Oh and it is dating advice too!

Alicia Davon