Goal setting and supplying the energy for the goal are a woman’s responsibility and ability in relationship. Goal setting is brains; energy is turn on and fun. This is feminine influence.
Women often have some ambivalence about both the direction setting part and about being fun and supplying the turn on. This ambivalence is always based in anger or self-doubt. If the guy doesn’t co-operate her ambivalence and doubt may get stronger.It will help her to understand that he is just doing what worked with women in the past, from his mom down the line. They trained him… hopefully well, but sometimes not well. Now it’s her turn.
Clear confident instruction with lots of approval, repeated often, is how to do that. She can give him much larger goals than he would normally take on if she handles him this way.
Some women say they don’t want to do that. In twenty years of teaching we have found those to be the women who don’t have what they say they want.
The guy should also take 100% responsibility for fulfilling her desires and being fun himself (but that’s another blog and something we emphasize often in the Pleasure Course.) If she steers him in a not-fun or dangerous direction it is also his responsibility to support her in making a course correction.
The real challenge for women is usually feeling right about herself and her appetite (see that blog series), the guy can be more or less work, but if she is confident and right about herself she’ll attract an enthusiastic guy and he’ll be easier to handle.