Waking Up & Growing Up

Alexander Milov

Alexander Milov

This is immediate realization and growing up.  What that means is realizing the perfection of reality, or the nature of reality, and awakening. Growing up, which basically means maturing into that realization, and having that realization sink in. Having our relationship blueprint dissolve, and that awakeness, that awakening, be really integrated in our life. Awakening, having an awakening experience, or seeing something, or even knowing it, is not necessarily the same thing as living it. It’s portrayed in a lot of the literature as people have an awakening, and then that’s it, and then they’re awake, and it happens in an instant and so be it. It’s not really that way, or at least the vast majority of the times, That realization, that opening, needs to be integrated. Romance Coaching is kind of an example of that, in that in the Pleasure Course, people have a really big awakening. They see something about themselves and life and especially at the end of day one, people usually contact their Self. Their Self with a capital S; they make a deep contact there. It’s not as if every moment forward is inside of that contact or with that contact, or they’re experiencing that contact, especially under difficult or stressful situations. That’s the integrating part, or the growing into the realization part.

It’s also very important for not only our relationship with ourselves, but our relationship with somebody else. Our relationship with other people. In many ways, our relationship with other people is often where we tend to lose that deeper contact, or that realization, or that awakening, because it’s often in our relationship with other people that we get triggered and lose our balance.

Our relationship with our parents is the source relationship or as it’s been called, the fundamental relationship, out of which our other relationships tend to evolve. Another way of saying that is that it’s the original relationship inside of which most of our other relationships occur, within that context, or within whatever the limits of that early relationship were. If we had an antagonistic relationship with our parents, later relationships are going to tend to be antagonistic. If we had a relationship with our parents where we felt very deprived, we’re probably going to experience a lot of that in later relationships. It’s very important to complete  that primary fundamental original relationship, so that our later relationships aren’t created out of that original relationship, and our later relationships are not limited by that earlier relationship. One of the things that we found is that it can be done, in a sense, very quickly. Kind of like that immediate realization, which is one of the focuses of this article. We can be complete, in an instant. We can really accept our relationship with our parents. We can accept them how they are; we can accept them how they were, and we can accept our past the way it was.

As human beings, we have the capacity to do that, really in an instant. It doesn’t mean that things won’t come up. Things will come up. We have the capacity in any instant to accept what comes up, and be with it, not resist it and not fight with it. One of the ways that that looks, is letting our parents off the hook for the stuff that they didn’t do so well, or least the stuff that we think they didn’t do so well. That does necessitate being in contact with those experiences, those early experiences. That’s what can sometimes take time for people, really opening up the doors and really re-contacting that early material;  the hurts or the difficulties, the fears, and so on. But to whatever degree we are in contact with that material, we can accept it. We really do have that option. That is one of the opportunities or possibilities of being a human being, is to really accept things how they are; to be in agreement with it, not resist it, not fight with it. When we don’t fight with something, we’re not constrained by it in the same way.

Alicia Davon