Posts Tagged ‘relationship advice’
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011
Flirting can be considered first and foremost of the relationship skills because it is what launches romantic relationship as well as being vital to sustaining the turn on. Normally diminished and discounted, flirting is actually of profound importance to everyone’s love life.
We define flirting as projecting and receiving sexual energy.
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For most situations a somewhat gradual approach (vs. grabbing the other person by the genitals!) is appropriate. This usually starts with conversation (we’ll address touch in a few paragraphs). A good flow for that conversation topic-wise is: soul, then relationship then sex. This upgrades the conversation, in terms of turn on, while starting from a basis of connection, depth and truth.
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Now, if the person you are flirting with is a stranger you probably want to be bolder because this could be your one shot! Whereas, if they are a friend, a more gradual approach is usually better since you have time and shifting gears on the relationship too rapidly could be jarring. If you are already in a romantic relationship with the person, keep flirting with the person for God’s sake… especially if you are married!
Woman understand flirting better. From their end it is really as simple as turning on and sending that energy towards a man, usually with the eyes first. Overtly approving of the man is also key. As the flirtation progresses she involves her body more and the dialogue and touch get spicier. Woman typically understand this but for understandable reason’s have resistance to doing it (see the series of blogs on a woman’s appetite for more on why women hold back.)
Men typically don’t really understand flirting because they don’t understand what it is like to be in a woman’s shoes. Men have their foot on the gas (typically) and women have their feet on the gas and the break!
The way for a man to overcome her resistance is fundamentally to put his attention on her. Then decide that she is worth pursuing (an often overlooked step). Then keep giving her what she wants in the form of making pleasurable offers and sending her in the direction of her response. We call this push-pull, it is the essence of flirting and seduction from a man’s point of view.
For example, the man can offer to take her someplace he knows she is interested in going. If she says yes then drive her their in a limo! If she says no, then not only withdraw the offer, but talk about something way less fun (or simply remove himself… for a while). He then reintroduces the offer or an improved variation. This back and forth creates more of a ride for a woman and overcomes her resistance more quickly, as long as the offers are based on her real appetite. If he is paying attention to her, his agenda will be her agenda (that line alone is worth a whole blog!)
When she is moving toward him (emotionally, physically, etc.) he moves closer to her slightly more quickly. When she is moving away from him he moves away at a slightly quicker pace, which gives him “permission” and confidence to switch to pulling her. Also quitting her first (ending the interaction) makes it easier for him to resume contact at will.
A menu of offers is good. They are a good way to stimulate appetite in the woman and bring fun suggestions into play. The suggestions should be based on her appetite, revealed or not.
The bottom line is paying attention to her. When this is mastered “push/pull” ceases to be technique and becomes the natural way of relating to a woman.
Breaking the touch barrier is a place where push-pull can be used by either sex. The idea is to gently and subtly get your partner used to being touched by and touching you. You introduce touch (each touch is a sort of offer) based either on cues from your partner or at random if you aren’t sure about your partners cues.
Start with a mellow touch (say the arm), remove that touch, and then reintroduce the touch, gradually upgrading the intensity and sensuality of the touch. This back and forth keeps escalating sensual contact. Make sure to back off before your partner makes sure you back off. If they do tell you to slow down, then slow down more than they wanted you to. That way you’ll have more confidence when you reintroduce sensual touch.
Although both sexes can use push-pull in flirting touch, women generally prefer it if the man leads (just like ballroom dancing).
Tags: approval, better sex, communication, relationship advice, turn-on
Posted in Man-Woman Dynamics, Relationship | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011
How to relate with another human being optimally
Cause and effect are optimal roles to take to maximize connection and pleasure with another human being. If we can give and receive well, then we exist, not only in harmony with others, but also in love, cooperation and ultimately union with them.
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To give we become upright, strong and loving. We release our attention on ourselves and attain a great sense of freedom and release. We hold our partner in our mind and our hands deriving deep satisfaction in their joy and pleasure. |
To receive we must surrender, open and be vulnerable. We expose ourselves first to ourselves then to another. The heart releases and we are held. A place deep within us is nourished and pleasured.
In our extended orgasm practice we take the roles of cause and effect to create optimal sensation and orgasm. We also bring these roles into deep touch so that we can calm and heal our emotional bodies.
In taking these roles we optimize our connection with each other and overcome, perhaps, the greatest challenge of life.
Tags: attention, extended orgasm, Personal Growth, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
A clash of Titans! What are they, how do they exist on our lives, and who comes out on top?
Sensuality is based in the 5 senses, based in the body; it is bodily chemistry and feeling. Eroticism is mental turn-on from a specific idea often based in transcending some taboo or other. Dominant and submissive roles are the most popular expressions of erotic turn-on.
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In regards to our romantic lives we live in a primarily erotic culture (worldwide). It is a culture marked by an extremely mental approach to life, even one’s love life.
Erotism is a good spice to add to one’s love life. But… the minute it becomes the main course in one’s love life, as it is for most people, it causes a drop in turn-on. You get diminishing returns. You have to keep increasing the quantity and intensity of the erotic idea to get the same pleasurable result. For example, the person in a submissive role must be increasingly that submissive to get turned on. |
Eroticism taken too far leads to perversion. Perversion is the ability to get turned-on only by a very narrow range of stimulus. For example, women with red hair wearing black latex who remind someone of his first lover.
On the other hand, turn-on generated sensually increases the more you engage. You get increasing returns (more and more pleasure). For example, turn-on from feeling your hand on someone’s genitals increases the more you focus on what you are feeling in your hand, seeing with your eyes, and so on.
For a great sex life Sensuality should be the meal and Eroticism the spice. If you fall in love with someone for primarily erotic reasons watch out because that turn on will wear out unless they become ever increasingly richer, more dominant, or whatever the “idea turn-on” is.
Basing your attraction to someone sensually will have you fall deeper and deeper in love with them over time. You will become increasingly turned-on by them over time. This is the secret to having an Eternal Date with someone. Long standing relationships can be steered in this direction. If you are single and dating, you may want to start your next relationship this way!
Tags: better sex, eroticism, extended orgasm, female orgasm, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011
The two biggest relationship problems that people complain about sexually are:
1. Finding a partner &
2. Decreased sexual interest in the partner they find!
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People have difficulty finding partners for 3 reasons and they all relate to the person’s relationship blueprint. They either think they’re not good enough or they think the other person (any potential partner) isn’t good enough or some combination.
The main reasons for decreased sexual interest in a partner are decreased chemistry (due to mental distraction or stress), life circumstance (they are simply to busy or fatigue) and mental misinformation (for men it’s prejudice against how women are and |
should be; for women it primarily takes the form of anger and resentment toward men). One addition for male’s decreased chemistry is mini-ejaculations during sex.
The resolution to all this and what makes for great sex and female orgasm is what we practice in all our quarterly sensuality research pools in the Oracle of Life and Love. Firstly, partners are handled. The circumstance is ideal and inviting of sensuality. And lastly, the group openness and positivity support everyone is staying out of his or her head and having a good time. Handling the circumstance and one’s mind are the keys having great sex.
These practices are something you can bring into your sex life… if you deem sensuality worthy of research.
Tags: better sex, female libido, female orgasm, relationship advice
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 29th, 2011
This is our third in our woman’s appetite series. So now that we’ve learned something about a woman’s appetite and how to gratify that appetite, what does a perfect man woman interaction look like?
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Vic Baranco laid it out like this: her appetite then his production and then her consumption and gratification. If all those elements are met then that man woman cycle completes and completes pleasurably. This is incredible relationship advice. |
What is of particular note for us, for where we are at in this woman’s appetite series, is that she must consume and be gratified by his production in order for the cycle to complete and everyone to feel good.
She must not only digest it but she must enjoy it. This is mastery from a feminine perspective.
… It also allows her to steer his production far more effectively toward her desires, giving her exactly what she wants ; )
Tags: appetite, approval, attention, relationship advice
Posted in Man-Woman Dynamics, Relationship | 1 Comment »
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
Last week we focused on a woman’s appetite. Now, what does it take to gratify that appetite. A good starting place is with the question “what does she want?”
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Vic Baranco, the famous sensuality researcher, used to say women want sex, food and baubles, in that order. What he meant was that relationship (including sex) is the foremost desire of women and necessities are second and extras are third. This is tremendously useful for men in realizing what women want and for women in having their desires as right.
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Women also want a lot, but may order short, for safety reasons. In other words, hedge her bet.
The key to gratifying a woman is realizing what she wants, that she wants a lot, and giving her everything that she wants… or perhaps barely less in order to gratify her appetite but not satisfy her appetite. It’s like leaving the dinner table before your stuffed; you’re looking forward to the next meal, yet you are gratified.
Tags: attention, happiness, relationship advice, relationship coaching
Posted in Man-Woman Dynamics, Relationship | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Women want what they want. This is obviously true, but often missed. Sometimes a woman will even miss or not know what she, herself, wants. What is even more often the case is that she knows what she wants but somehow doesn’t feel right or safe in expressing it. Her appetite for what she wants, her desire, is withheld or concealed.
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Feeling right about her appetite, at all levels, is the same as feeling right about herself. This seems somehow selfish or at least extremely vulnerable, so she hides it.
As she realizes her appetite, first by getting into agreement with it then by gratifying it, her femininity is expressed fully and perfectly.
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The result is infinitely greater pleasure for both sexes.
Tags: better sex, communication, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, May 25th, 2011
Now let’s look at your relationship future. What is the quality of your future when you look at it?
You can immediately sense if your future is given by your blueprint, i.e. that it is predictable. Or perhaps your future blossoms from your being present now. In this case the future you imagine is more open, more organic.
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If you are present your future has a quality of or softness and openness, if you are not present it has a repetitious dull and dark quality.
Where you are now, or how you are now, determines your “now future”. This is where the future is created or lived from. The present gives the future.
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Your mind is always mapping out the future. That is the activity of mind. If you are in your blueprint/playbook now, in the presnt, you are going to map out what is in that blueprint. And that is what your future will look like.
If you are present then the map becomes very different and very secondary… and the future is bright.
Tags: blueprint, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Personal Growth, Relationship, Romantic Blueprint | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011
An Eternal Date is a romantic relationship that keeps reaching higher peaks in love and sex. Sometimes we call it a “Peaking” relationship. Here are 10 keys to having an enternal date. If you are looking to start a new relationship, you can practice many of these and they will attract a soulmate.
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- Have lots of vacations
- Be so honest they can’t help but love you
- Take care of each other emotionally
- Research and study sex enthusiastically
- Take your partner on dates
- Flirt unabashedly
- Make lots of time available
- Develop a rich spiritual life
- Get to know you and your partner’s romantic conditioning
- Realize it’s a lot more important than most of the rest of the stuff you’re doing!
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Tags: dating advice, relationship advice, schedule
Posted in Dating, How to relationship, Relationship | 11 Comments »
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
Push-pull is a method of seduction in which you pull someone in (e.g. start a conversation with someone or take the conversation a bit higher sensually) until just before the point that they realize they have had enough, then push them away (e.g. end the conversation or change to a less sexually charged topic) .
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But, how do you know when someone has had enough before even they do? The key is your attention on them. If you’ve got your full attention on someone, you’ve got access to all kinds of incredible information. You can even know things about them that they may not be aware of themselves. |
Here’s an example which I think most of us are familiar with, and one you can even try today. The next time you’re in a conversation with somebody, notice the point when you feel the conversation winding down, when you feel that it’s time to end the conversation. Sometimes this feels like a slight reduction in excitement, or a tinge of distraction. Sometimes this is when the conversation actually does wrap up, and sometimes the conversation continues. If it continues and you stay in the conversation too long, it stops feeling good, and may start to feel awkward or anxious. If you end the conversation, you and the other person are left feeling good.
The exact same feelings come up when relating with the opposite sex, whether asking someone on a date or having sex. If you have your full attention on the other person, and notice how the situation feels, you will know exactly when to take things one level higher, and exactly when to pause and bring things down a bit.
Tags: attention, relationship advice, seduction
Posted in Man-Woman Dynamics, Relationship | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
After teaching singles and couples how to have 15-minute orgasm for the last nearly 20 years I can tell you there is nothing better you can add to a relationship to accelerate it, at least in the turn on department. It’s the best relationship advice I could give you in the sex department.
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In two of our advanced programs, the Oracle of life and love and the Oracle of sex, money and power, we have been having sensuality research pools over the last two weeks and Alicia and I have been blown away by people’s ability to give and receive pleasure.
The technique is called DOing, standing for deliberate orgasm. |
One person plays the role of cause (the “Doer”) the other plays the role of effect (being done to or the “DOee”). Doing involves manual stimulation, usually between two people, but someone can do it to himself or herself as well
The most important point for the doer is having their full attention on the pleasure of the doee. The most important point for the doee is surrendering to their doer. This establishes connection. Connection is key.
Communication is the next most important point. Talk approvingly both ways!
The Doer should “peak” their partner regularly. This means taking mini breaks while stroking your partner, from a tenth of a second to several seconds. These breaks stop the cummer from spiking up really fast and going over a hard edge (traditional climax orgasm) and instead extend the sensation.
When the cummer reaches what we call the Orgasm line, where the body just hints at going into involuntary contractions, the most obvious sign of orgasm, back off and slow down. This will keep you in a state of orgasm without crashing over a hard edge. Also push your genitals out, keep them relaxed (vs. clenched) throughout but especially at this point.
The orgasm will be higher and more relaxed than you are used to… and of course of much longer duration.
There are about a million other points I could mention, but these are among the most important. Realistically, to learn 15-minute orgasm requires training and practicing. The Sensuality Expansion Program is where we do our highest level training with singles and couples, but our other advanced programs and vacation courses are a great place to start : )
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, better sex, communication, DOing, extended orgasm, female orgasm, how to orgasm, relationship advice
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010
One of the most common questions that people ask me, whether they are married, boyfriend/girlfriend or dating is some version of how do I get my partner to either approve of me more or pay more attention to me. With men it is typically, “How do I get her to approve of me more?” With women it is typically, “How do I get him to pay more attention to me?”
| Men’s biggest relationship hang-up is not paying attention. This infuriates women and he pays, although he often doesn’t know what he is paying for!
Women’s biggest relationship hang-up is not being authentically approving when asking for what the want. The result is guys don’t listen and stay dumb (if you’ll excuse me for being so blunt). |
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You may start to see that a vicious circle has formed. The more she disapproves the less attention he pays and the less attention he pays the more disapproving she is. This is the unfortunate circumstance of many relationships. Hence why we sometimes say when teaching the Pleasure Course, “Guys are dumb and women are mean.”
The good news is that if either partner is willing to acknowledge their hang-up and give it up, slowly but surely the relationship will correct. It doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen. When a he starts paying more attention she get’s a lot more approving. When she starts getting more approving (while not compromising what she wants, I should add) he starts paying more attention.
This is some of the best relationship advice I could give you. You may find love you didn’t know you had in your current love life. Oh and it is dating advice too!
Click here to forward this blog post to a friend!
Tags: approval, attention, communication, dating advice, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Man-Woman Dynamics, Relationship | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 4th, 2010
The fastest way to end up completely, totally miserable is to feel bad about feeling bad. Everyone feels bad sometimes, sometimes really bad. That’s life. Things happen, everything from stubbing your toe to someone dear to us dying. But if you decide that it is bad that you are feeling bad you are on a slippery slope downwards.
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Why? Because now you have twice as much bad: you have the bad you originally felt about whatever happened and the bad about feeling bad. Twice as much bad! Which quickly turns into three times as much bad because you feel bad about all that bad!!
You see how this goes. Feeling bad can snowball very quickly.
So in my teaching work, where we are dealing with the very sensitive matter of intimacy, spiritual life and people’s love lives, my relationship advice is, “Look up”. Where you put your attention is where you will go… in fact, it is more than that; it is what you will become!
This doesn’t mean don’t feel bad if you do feel bad about something. Of course, it is good to confront emotions, to feel them and feel through them, to clarify and release them. We call that “Corework.” That is very different than “tripping” about them, over processing them and feeling bad about them. |
That is a dramatic hobby that I don’t recommend. One I mastered in high school and college listening to Pink Floyd in my dorm room, lights out, candles lit and a relentless focus on what was wrong. I can tell you it didn’t help my dating, social life or spiritual life.
Being diligent about having a positive attitude in life is very different than suppressing emotions with some sort of false positivism. False positivism leads to numbness and feeling bad about feeling bad is a quick ticket to hell.
Don’t look down! Confront what is, and tilt your gaze skywards.
Tags: approval, emotions, happiness, relationship advice
Posted in Being Happy, Personal Growth | 2 Comments »
Friday, September 10th, 2010
In the 27 combined years Alicia and I have been working with people and transforming their relationship and sex lives, one of the things that we’ve noticed is that everyone has particular patterns that they aren’t aware of. There are blind spots as to things that we all do and ways of being that we all bring into our sex lives, and they can be the source of many relationship problems.
| They may be obvious from the outside, for example if somebody were videoing us, but from the inside we may not even know that we are doing that. For example, somebody could be very timid, in bed they don’t move very much, or they’re very tentative in their touch. But to themselves, they probably don’t feel or know that they’re being timid. To them, that is just how it is, it’s just normal. Just like we might walk a particular way, it might even be a funny way, but for us we’re just walking. |
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That is what a blind spot is. A blind spot is a blind spot because you don’t see what is actually going on or how you’re being. There is a lack of perspective. Look for yourselves right now. What might be a blind spot for you? It could be any way of being, or a habit, or a tendency, or a behavior. It could be being silent, it could be being withdrawn, it could be being aggressive. Some of the best relationship advice I could give in this area is to ask somebody else’s opinion, especially a current or past lover! It’s a really fun conversation. It can open up a lot of things, and can help build a very healthy relationship and love life.
Tags: blind spot, relationship advice, relationship problems
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 5 Comments »
Saturday, July 17th, 2010
About 10 years ago, before I met Alicia, I remember having an intuitive hunch about myself. The hunch was that something was off. What gave me that hunch was that I had been in relationship with some incredible women, but none of the relationships had lasted. I realized that it had something to do with me, that it was a relationship problem, or hang-up, of mine.
| Before this hunch I really thought the relationships ended because they weren’t right for some reason. I thought there was something wrong with each of the relationships, and even each of those women. When I actually listed the qualities of each woman, I saw that I had been so critical of each of them that I somehow found something that made her the wrong person, and justified to myself not being involved, and in some cases even being superior. I realized this hang-up was really costing me in my relationships and my love life. |
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I also saw that this hang-up was defensive in nature. The women in my past really had been incredible. They were gorgeous, funny, lit-up, and I had been blocking them from coming into my life. I saw that this defensiveness was covering up an underlying sense of being unlovable. Underneath it all, I really feared that each of those women were unavailable for loving me. This complex thought pattern was really dominating my relationships and love life. It was part of my relationship blueprint which was not working for me.
Identifying this part of my blueprint, and the consequences (the lack of relationship), left me with a bit of a sick feeling. As I felt into this feeling, through a meditation practice we teach in the Pleasure Course called “corework,” I began to notice a deep sense of vulnerability. As I felt this vulnerability more and more fully, the sick feeling of worry began to lift. It felt like a weight rising off of my chest and shoulders. In that moment of feeling, I could see my future opening up. A quality of enjoyment and pleasure started to come into my experience.
It was this process of fully feeling through the emotions behind my hang-up, moment by moment, that really put me in a place to love and commit in my current relationship with Alicia. It is relationship advice that I would recommend to anyone with a relationship or sexual hangup.
Tags: blueprint, emotions, meditation, Personal Growth, relationship advice, relationship problems
Posted in Personal Growth, Romantic Blueprint | 53 Comments »
Thursday, June 17th, 2010
What makes the difference in any relationship is that each whole person is there and available for the relating. There are three aspects to this, and enhancing any one will really help any relationship succeed. This relationship advice really applies to any relationship, whether the first date, a brand new relationship, or a marriage.
| The first essential ingredient is approval. This means being emotionally available to the other person. When we are emotionally available, we are loving. I mean something wider here than simply saying nice things, I really mean the loving, warm, caring that emanates towards the other when we are emotionally available to that person. For some, expressing emotions readily is easy. For others, it brings up a feeling of vulnerability and being unsafe. |
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These feelings are generally rooted in a deep hurt experienced during childhood. When this hurt is felt, we emotionally bind up and harden because we don’t want to be hurt again. Noticing this hurt is the first step toward healing it, which allows us to become more emotionally open and vulnerable with another.
The second essential ingredient is turn-on or chemistry. For romantic love to be successful, there has to be the enjoyment, really the exploitation, of that sex energy. Unfortunately this energy can get dampened, by schedules or cultural norms or other beliefs. And fortunately, it can actually be turned back on. This starts with deliberate attention on the turn-on in the relationship, then learning the skills necessary to cultivate it (seduction, structure, flirting, and maximizing sexual pleasure, etc).
The third essential ingredient is “realness.” By this I mean, honesty, I mean being real with the person now, being present with the other person moment by moment. This is really can be the most challenging aspect of relationship, and there really is no easy way to do it. All we can do is be real NOW, no matter what the circumstances.
A nice aspect of all of this is that couples can support each other in the different areas, especially if one is strong where the other is weak. For example, someone strong in approval can approvingly request and help the other be more approving! Or if one is weak in realness, the stronger partner can point out when a situation isn’t feeling very real to them.
And finally, knowing that simply being more approving, turned-on, and real will improve a relationship is a relief! Whether looking for dating advice, wanting to improve a good relationship, or thinking about marriage counseling, this knowledge takes much of the mystery out of relationship problems!
Tags: approval, dating advice, emotions, honesty, relationship advice, relationship problems
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 3 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
Relationship is the most common place intense emotions come up. The emotions are usually very sensitive, and can be the source of many relationship problems. Here is the best way I’ve found to handle them, broken into six steps:
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The first way to handle intense emotions is to create space for that emotion. Basically this means, don’t ignore the emotion. There is a tendency to turn away from and avoid the intensity of feeling that comes up for us when we relate to another person. Now, this also doesn’t mean address it immediately and irresponsibly with the other person as soon as it comes up. Really it means simply allow the experience you are having. Don’t run away, don’t obsess, just let the emotion be.
The second thing to do is admit what you’re feeling. This doesn’t mean you need to do anything about the emotion, rather it simply means face that you are feeling that way, acknowledge that you are experiencing this emotion. |
The third thing to do is to express the emotion constructively and artistically. For example, if you feel angry and do a collage about your anger, it allows you to get your hands around the emotion, to see it and taste it. By simply doing something with your emotion that is not avoidant, the experience will start to lift and open.
The fourth thing to do is Corework. This is a type of mediation we teach in the Pleasure Course in which one goes to the core of what one is feeling, one confronts one’s experience. Opening with a spiritual practice liberates negative emotions, sooths and calms excited emotions, and enhances positive and turned on emotions. Just as the third step deals with the emotion artistically, this step deals with it spiritually.
These first four steps have been getting into the emotion, really feeling it. Now one is ready for the fifth step: communicate. This step is fifth because one really wants to spend a lot of time being with one’s emotion, feeling it thoroughly, THEN you want to communicate. When we instantly rush to communicate what we’re feeling usually we end up dumping or projecting, and we end up dealing with the trigger of the emotion rather than dealing with the emotion at its root. Embracing and feeling the emotion thoroughly before communicating really makes communication possible.
Finally the emotion can be released. This step actually isn’t something you do actively, it is something that happens naturally if the above steps are taken. If one feels the emotion fully, then shares and communicates, the feeling will release.
To bottom line it, the best relationship advice I have is: do not shy away from the intensity of emotion. Intense emotions will always come up, whether on your first date, in a new relationship or you have the most established and healthy relationship. Go into them, embrace them. Even though this is the opposite of what we usually think to do, you’ll find your experience lift and open.
Tags: communication, emotions, meditation, relationship advice, relationship problems
Posted in Being Happy, How to relationship, Personal Growth, Relationship | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, June 1st, 2010
We often wonder if we are in the “right” relationship. Well… You are in the right relationship!… however it is, even if you don’t have one. It is such a relief to know that. Maybe things are exactly how they should be and maybe nothing is wrong.
| If you don’t like the relationship, then you can leave graciously, but that doesn’t mean anything is or was ever wrong with it. At the same time very deep emotions about love, finding love, marriage and so on, surface when we accept our relationship life how it is and how it feels. Now, you may leave your relationship at some point or you may not, but either way there does not need to be anything wrong with your relationship. |
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Whether you are on the first date, married, divorced, looking to date, or whatever, the best relationship advice I could give you is… enjoy it!
Tags: happiness, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 2 Comments »
Sunday, May 16th, 2010
Greetings everyone,
Over the past six months we have developed a new plan, which I am happy to say, has now come to fruition. We are re-launching and rebranding Beyond Education and changing our name to Erwan Davon Teachings, which will now be located at ErwanDavon.com.
| Over the past 17 years, I have helped thousands of individuals and couples in Bay Area and San Francisco with relationship advice, romance information and how to find love. It has been the ride of a lifetime for my wife Alicia and myself. It didn’t matter whether people were coming to me to talk about marriage, wanted to start a new relationship or even were interested in something as touchy as the female libido, we have loved supporting people in their love lives. |
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Studying and teaching the skills of how to love, how to have a healthy relationship, seduction, and even teaching clients how to extend orgasm and other advanced sexual techniques, has opened a world of pleasure, not only for the people I serve, but for myself as well. It really is an honor that our teachings have become a valuable resource to so many in taking their love life and relationships to the next level.
Personal growth almost always happens simultaneously with a person’s love life improving. I think the emphasis that I have always placed on personal growth and development set the foundation for the increases in romantic love that people have reported. A firm platform of support in personal growth and relationship help has then enabled us to be very effective when supporting people in their sexual and sensual lives.
Some have now branded me as “San Francisco’s Relationship Expert.” While I am humbled by this title, I love and value the opportunity to serve people in such a potentially rewarding area of life. The success I have had is a testament to the thousands of clients who have improved their relationship lives with us over the last almost two decades. I want to express my gratitude to all of the incredible people with whom I’ve had the chance to meet and work.
Feel free to look around our new site. Drop me a line and let me know what you think.
Tags: Personal Growth, relationship advice, relationship coaching
Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
Saturday, May 1st, 2010
Each of us has a template or blueprint we operate from in our romantic relationships or in our attempts to get into romantic relationship. The problem is that most of it we made up or inherited between the ages of 0 and 15. The other problem is that it lives in a blind spot and is rarely examined, updated or even seen! The good news is that it can be explored and updated. It’s like tennis or golf… you can always update your game, but first you’ve got to see what game you are currently playing (that is your romantic blueprint). Maybe it’s a great blueprint, maybe it isn’t, either way expansion and more fun is always possible, leading to a great healthy relationship!
Tags: blueprint, relationship advice
Posted in Personal Growth, Romantic Blueprint | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 1st, 2010
It took me several relationships to get my bearings, including the loss of a five year relationship when I was twenty-five. Finally, I got it right when I married Alicia. I have also had the privilege of supporting hundreds of relationships over the last seventeen years. The biggest mistake people make is holding out, holding back, keeping one foot out the back door. Don’t do it. If it turns out not to be the right relationship, at least you’ll know sooner… And, if you don’t hold back, it just might be the right relationship sooner than you think.
Tags: Committment, mistake, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
The holidays are an opportunity for love and connection, but can be difficult, even depressing for some. Here are 4 keys to having great holidays:
Intend, declare and decide to have a blast.
The incomplete stuff from 2009, either handle it now, or put it in the past.
Tell the people you love how much you love them.
Put lots of fun stuff in your calendar.
By the way, these steps also work for any relationship problem you may face! Just replace “from 2009″ with “the relationship problem”.
Tags: intention, relationship advice
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | Comments Off
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
One of the central themes of the Pleasure Course in May was “structuring your life extraordinary relationships and ecstatic sex.” Insights won’t do it. It really takes re-prioritizing. People’s schedules are crowded these days. But, when we take a look, people’s schedules are often crowded with things less important than their relationship or sex life! Take a few less important things out of your schedule and put in practices for good, healthy relationships and great sex. It makes an enormous difference.
Tags: better sex, relationship advice, schedule
Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | Comments Off
Saturday, September 1st, 2007
Rarely do human beings study, research and seriously learn about what we are the most interested in. Sex is a good example of that. There is a hidden barrier of fear, trepidation and mistrust. What would people think? Where could this lead? Will I be OK? Will I be good at it? Typically, learning tennis or how to use a computer program doesn’t carry this kind of charge. We study it and learn it and get better at it to the degree that we seriously engage the topic. Sex, relationships, and enlightenment are the same way… but we have these fears and concerns. Are these topics worth overcoming our fears and taking action anyway?
As in with any subject or interest, studying relationship and sex really is key in having a good relationship and great sex!
Tags: better sex, relationship advice, schedule
Posted in Having better sex, How to relationship, Relationship, Sex | Comments Off
