Posts Tagged ‘extended orgasm’

Giving and Receiving

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

How to relate with another human being optimally

 

Cause and effect are optimal roles to take to maximize connection and pleasure with another human being. If we can give and receive well, then we exist, not only in harmony with others, but also in love, cooperation and ultimately union with them.   

giving-and-receiving To give we become upright, strong and loving. We release our attention on ourselves and attain a great sense of freedom and release. We hold our partner in our mind and our hands deriving deep satisfaction in their joy and pleasure.

To receive we must surrender, open and be vulnerable. We expose ourselves first to ourselves then to another. The heart releases and we are held. A place deep within us is nourished and pleasured.

 

In our extended orgasm practice we take the roles of cause and effect to create optimal sensation and orgasm. We also bring these roles into deep touch so that we can calm and heal our emotional bodies.

 

In taking these roles we optimize our connection with each other and overcome, perhaps, the greatest challenge of life.

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Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 4 Comments »

Sensuality Vs. Eroticism

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

A clash of Titans!  What are they, how do they exist on our lives, and who comes out on top?

 

Sensuality is based in the 5 senses, based in the body; it is bodily chemistry and feeling.  Eroticism is mental turn-on from a specific idea often based in transcending some taboo or other.  Dominant and submissive roles are the most popular expressions of erotic turn-on. 

   

Whip In regards to our romantic lives we live in a primarily erotic culture (worldwide).  It is a culture marked by an extremely mental approach to life, even one’s love life.

 

Erotism is a good spice to add to one’s love life.  But… the minute it becomes the main course in one’s love life, as it is for most people, it causes a drop in turn-on.  You get diminishing returns.  You have to keep increasing the quantity and intensity of the erotic idea to get the same pleasurable result.  For example, the person in a submissive role must be increasingly that submissive to get turned on. 

 

Eroticism taken too far leads to perversion.  Perversion is the ability to get turned-on only by a very narrow range of stimulus.  For example, women with red hair wearing black latex who remind someone of his first lover.

 

On the other hand, turn-on generated sensually increases the more you engage.   You get increasing returns (more and more pleasure).  For example, turn-on from feeling your hand on someone’s genitals increases the more you focus on what you are feeling in your hand, seeing with your eyes, and so on.

 

For a great sex life Sensuality should be the meal and Eroticism the spice.  If you fall in love with someone for primarily erotic reasons watch out because that turn on will wear out unless they become ever increasingly richer, more dominant, or whatever the “idea turn-on” is.

 

Basing your attraction to someone sensually will have you fall deeper and deeper in love with them over time.  You will become increasingly turned-on by them over time.  This is the secret to having an Eternal Date with someone.   Long standing relationships can be steered in this direction.  If you are single and dating, you may want to start your next relationship this way!

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Posted in How to relationship, Relationship | 3 Comments »

How to Sensualize Your Lifestyle

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

What can you do to sensualize your lifestyle?  This is a question Alicia and I are always asking ourselves.  We are always addressing our lifestyle. 

 

Macro view of a pretty young female eating fresh strawberry Usually people have their attention on ‘what they have’ rather than ‘how they are living’.  It is a lot easier to put attention on “what” rather than “how”.  For example, most people can give you a pretty good description of what they regularly eat but are stumped if you ask them how they eat.  How you eat (relaxed, in a nice environment, etc.) is actually just as important as what you eat.

 

We just got back from Mexico!  How we like to vacation is relaxed with lot’s of free time for extended orgasm D.O. dates, and that is just what we did.  Sometimes people come back from vacation more exhausted than they left because they had to see every ‘what’ they possibly could.

 

Sensualizing your lifestyle is paying attention to how you are living and making sure you are living pleasurably.  Sensual living is gratifying and enjoyable now.  It can look any number of ways.  You can have a partner or not.   Here are a few of our favorites:

1.    Have a D.O. date every day, with a partner or with yourself.

2.    Do that in the morning vs. pushing sex to end of the day when you are tired.

3.    Take relaxed vacations (vs. tourism) at least monthly, even if they are short and you don’t travel far.

4.    Cultivate friendships and community that forwards your sex life.

5.    Don’t miss opportunities!  Pleasureable opportunities abound… if you have an eye for them.

 

How about you?  What could you do to make your lifestyle more enjoyable and sensual?

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Posted in Being Happy, Personal Growth | 2 Comments »

15 Minute Orgasm – Most important points

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

After teaching singles and couples how to have 15-minute orgasm for the last nearly 20 years I can tell you there is nothing better you can add to a relationship to accelerate it, at least in the turn on department.  It’s the best relationship advice I could give you in the sex department.

 

A woman experiencing 15 minute orgasm In two of our advanced programs, the Oracle of life and love and the Oracle of sex, money and power, we have been having sensuality research pools over the last two weeks and Alicia and I have been blown away by people’s ability to give and receive pleasure.   

 

The technique is called DOing, standing for deliberate orgasm. 

 

One person plays the role of cause (the “Doer”) the other plays the role of effect (being done to or the “DOee”). Doing involves manual stimulation, usually between two people, but someone can do it to himself or herself as well

 

The most important point for the doer is having their full attention on the pleasure of the doee.  The most important point for the doee is surrendering to their doer.  This establishes connection.  Connection is key.

 

Communication is the next most important point.  Talk approvingly both ways!

 

The Doer should “peak” their partner regularly.  This means taking mini breaks while stroking your partner, from a tenth of a second to several seconds.  These breaks stop the cummer from spiking up really fast and going over a hard edge (traditional climax orgasm) and instead extend the sensation.

 

When the cummer reaches what we call the Orgasm line, where the body just hints at going into involuntary contractions, the most obvious sign of orgasm, back off and slow down.  This will keep you in a state of orgasm without crashing over a hard edge.  Also push your genitals out, keep them relaxed (vs. clenched) throughout but especially at this point.

 

The orgasm will be higher and more relaxed than you are used to… and of course of much longer duration.

 

There are about a million other points I could mention, but these are among the most important.  Realistically, to learn 15-minute orgasm requires training and practicing.  The Sensuality Expansion Program is where we do our highest level training with singles and couples, but our other advanced programs and vacation courses are a great place to start : )

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Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 9 Comments »

How to increase sex energy

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

The number one thing you can do to increase sexual energy is to structure your life in a way that doesn’t stress you out. When human beings are stressed, the sex drive plummets. This is the biggest cause of loss of male and female libido.

 

A couple with increased sexual energy The second thing you can do is practice being in your body. Being in your head puts you in a very confined, mental space which tends not to be a juicy, sexual, embodied space. 

The third thing you can do is understand female extended orgasm and that women are the source of sexual energy. The ability to feel and notice and acknowledge turn-on in women (especially in yourself, if you are a woman) is critical to increasing sexual energy.

 

Finally, if you’re a man, another thing you can do is reduce the frequency of going over a hard edge and ejaculating (this applies to women as well, though not as much because bodily fluid isn’t expended). This can be a tough thing to do, for obvious reasons. Ejaculating consumes a tremendous amount of sexual energy.

 

For teenagers, I recommend once per week, for middle age, once per month, and for older age, once every few months. In order to be successful at this, you need to have your life structured so you can be relaxed (back to the first point above), otherwise the built up energy turns into tension. This is something I practice, and it makes all the difference in the world.

 

These techniques require intention and practice, and the rewards really are incredible!

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Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 3 Comments »

How to have a 15 minute orgasm

Sunday, December 12th, 2010

1. Start touching yourself the way you normally would to get yourself going.

2. Then take frequent mini breaks in your stroking, like half a second every few strokes.  This is like taking your foot off of the accelerator.

3. Before going over the edge, relax your body and push your genitals out (instead of the usual tendency to clench).  This will further decelerate you from crashing over a hard edge.

4. Experiment with the above and you will find that your body will be able to hold all the signs of male and female orgasm for an extended period.  Involuntary contractions of the genital muscles and a sense of release are the most important.

 

You can extend it beyond 15 minutes if you like.  When you involve someone else it is called “D.O.ing” for deliberate orgasm.  

One important addition to the four steps above is your headspace: focus on the pleasure you are feeling, not where you are going.  Pleasure orientation vs. goal orientation is the most important part.

 A man and woman exploring female orgasm

 

I have been teaching extended orgasm for 17 years in the Pleasure Course and my advanced programs. 

 

Some learn it quickly; some take longer.

 

There is no better addition to one’s sex life, whether you are single, dating, in a new relationship or married.

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Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 13 Comments »