Posts Tagged ‘15 minute orgasm’

Extended Orgasm Step by Step

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

We have gotten such good reports from participants in the Oracle of Life & Love,
and Romance Coaching, on your practice of DOing and Extended Orgasm that we
are going summarize a basic pattern that you can follow in your learning practice.
Although this is a basic pattern, the skills for some of the steps were/are covered in
the Pleasure Course or one of our advanced programs. The skills are actually quite
advanced; the pattern will help you put it all together.

 

These are basics, and like “standards” in music, they feel/sound great. Like the Sensuality Exercises, they are ways to guarantee that you have a good time and that your sensual research progresses. At times, and more and more so over the years,
you will alter these basics, but don’t take them for granted. Even the most complex Jazz is based in scales and standard musical progressions. Try playing Jazz with out scales… some have tried; it’s interesting for about 5 minutes.

   

female in 15 minute orgasm Here are some basics on the path of extended orgasm, giving and receiving:
1. Set up the time and space to be attractive and relaxed (15 minutes + is recommended, music smell, etc.).
2. Take the roles of cause and effect; sit in that position.

 

Doer or Cause:
3. Always keep your attention on your partner’s pleasure, deriving your
pleasure from this.
4. Start with slow deep, more massage like, pressure on legs.
5. Do some deep touch to really connect with your partner.
(All of that can take between one minute and 5 minutes, standard.)
6. Position DO towel
7. Apply lubricant in one smooth stroke with left hand.
8. Put hands in the basic DOing position (DOing lefty if possible for men)
9. After establishing contact with your partner’s most sensitive spot (upper left
hand quadrant of the clitoris, or apex of a man’s sex) gradually move from
firmer strokes to lighter strokes.
10. For most people the stroke on a woman’s genitals should be lighter and
shorter that what they might be inclined to do.
11. Take your partner up and down by alternating gradually changing pressure.
12. Peak your partner with any kind of slight change or pause in your stroke.
13. Build a dome shaped orgasm.
14. Keep a sexy yet specific dialogue going with your partner.
15. Bring your partner down with firmer pressure.
16. Towel your partner off.

 

DOee or effect:
17. Keep your attention on your partner’s stroke.
18. Surrender to your DOer such that you are at effect (you can ask for changes
but do it from a surrendered, effect, approving place).
19. Push your genitals out in a consistent yet relaxed way.
20. Spread your toes.
21. Experiment with moving your toes and/or creating a few deliberate
contractions in your genitals if that helps get you into involuntary movement
in your toes and genitals.
22. Tell your partner what feels good.
23. Really let go into the ride.
24. Stay relaxed but alert (so you don’t zone out or blow out from the height of
feeling).
25. Afterwards, share your favorite frames with your DOer and express how
gratified you are, leaving your DOer feeling like a winner.

 

Now, those are the basics of what to do, but the most important part, no matter
what role you are in, is your intention and willingness to have a good time.

 

Also, don’t focus on a goal of orgasm. If you do what is described above, the person
at effect will reach a level of sensation where the body goes into extended orgasm
with all of the involuntary movements and sense of release.

 

There you have it. Enjoy!

What everyone needs to know to have a great sex life

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

Everyone is challenged sexually.  If you open to this and your sex life becomes a place to develop intimacy, a place to learn and grow, then you have a perfect sex life and will experience it as such.   In other words, then you will experience it pleasurably. 

sensuality85x60 If your goal is some type of perfection in terms of the way your sex life looks (to others or yourself), an ego goal, then you will not experience your sex life pleasurably.  That is always an experience of sexual scarcity, no matter how much sex you are having and no matter how that sex goes.   

 

Alicia and I have a perfect sex life not because of the 30 years of research into sexuality, extended orgasm and so on, but rather because we embrace our sex life as a place to grow together and experience new heights of pleasure together.

 

Singles often (secretly) find their sex life wrong because it rarely meets the quantity and quality that they would like.  Couples (secretly) almost always have the same issue!

If on the other hand you embrace your sex life, lean into it, use it as a place to learn and grow, instead of judging yourself about it, then you will find it perfect… and it will grow!

15 Minute Orgasm – Most important points

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

After teaching singles and couples how to have 15-minute orgasm for the last nearly 20 years I can tell you there is nothing better you can add to a relationship to accelerate it, at least in the turn on department.  It’s the best relationship advice I could give you in the sex department.

 

A woman experiencing 15 minute orgasm In two of our advanced programs, the Oracle of life and love and the Oracle of sex, money and power, we have been having sensuality research pools over the last two weeks and Alicia and I have been blown away by people’s ability to give and receive pleasure.   

 

The technique is called DOing, standing for deliberate orgasm. 

 

One person plays the role of cause (the “Doer”) the other plays the role of effect (being done to or the “DOee”). Doing involves manual stimulation, usually between two people, but someone can do it to himself or herself as well

 

The most important point for the doer is having their full attention on the pleasure of the doee.  The most important point for the doee is surrendering to their doer.  This establishes connection.  Connection is key.

 

Communication is the next most important point.  Talk approvingly both ways!

 

The Doer should “peak” their partner regularly.  This means taking mini breaks while stroking your partner, from a tenth of a second to several seconds.  These breaks stop the cummer from spiking up really fast and going over a hard edge (traditional climax orgasm) and instead extend the sensation.

 

When the cummer reaches what we call the Orgasm line, where the body just hints at going into involuntary contractions, the most obvious sign of orgasm, back off and slow down.  This will keep you in a state of orgasm without crashing over a hard edge.  Also push your genitals out, keep them relaxed (vs. clenched) throughout but especially at this point.

 

The orgasm will be higher and more relaxed than you are used to… and of course of much longer duration.

 

There are about a million other points I could mention, but these are among the most important.  Realistically, to learn 15-minute orgasm requires training and practicing.  The Sensuality Expansion Program is where we do our highest level training with singles and couples, but our other advanced programs and vacation courses are a great place to start : )

The Being of 15-minute Orgasm

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

The essential element is to stay present.  If you are present extraordinary experiences unfold.

 

I was thinking of calling this entry “15-minute Orgasm – Not blowing out”.

 

A couple being with 15-minute orgasm In the Sensuality Expansion Program we just led, we worked with the DOer repeatedly on expanding his ability to stay present during the high peaks of female orgasm. 

 

To stay present do these things

1. Focus on the contact point

a. Doers on your finger on her clitoris

b. Cummers on your clitoris at the point of contact

2. Feel and express your sensation both ways

 

With her (in the Sensuality Expansion Program) we worked, not so much on staying present for high peaks, but staying continually present v.s. “on and off”.

 

The being of 15-minute orgasm is simply being present.

 

Intimacy is what arises at a much higher level than what we are used to.  This intimacy is usually resisted quite strongly and subtly.  One is likely to not even know one is resisting intimacy or not being present.

 

So it requires more of a heart willingness than an understanding.  The Being of 15-minute orgasm is Openness… openness to all things, intimacy being the most challenging.

 

The intimacy is physical so it can be much more pleasurable but also much more deep.

Top 10 points of extended 15 minute female orgasm from a woman’s perspective

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

1. Decide ahead of time to have a great time and enjoy yourself no matter what. Release your mind and the past (which is a spiritual practice).

2. Actively move your energy into his hands, your hips, genitals, legs, and feet vs your head.

3. Trust your doer completely – don’t try to control him, just feel where he is taking you.

 

A woman experiencing female orgasm and sexual pleasure

4. Be vocal – let the orgasm come through your vocal cords.

5. Focus your attention on the contact point between his finger and your clitoris.

6. Feel each stroke.

7. Push your genitals out gently.

8. Lean into the sensation – no matter what the sensations is you will experience extreme pleasure by leaning into it fully.

9. Spread your fingers and toes.

 

10.  It takes something to have extended orgasm – it takes ongoing training and it also takes giving yourself to sexual pleasure fully EACH TIME, no matter how much or how little training you have.

How to have a 15 minute orgasm

Sunday, December 12th, 2010

1. Start touching yourself the way you normally would to get yourself going.

2. Then take frequent mini breaks in your stroking, like half a second every few strokes.  This is like taking your foot off of the accelerator.

3. Before going over the edge, relax your body and push your genitals out (instead of the usual tendency to clench).  This will further decelerate you from crashing over a hard edge.

4. Experiment with the above and you will find that your body will be able to hold all the signs of male and female orgasm for an extended period.  Involuntary contractions of the genital muscles and a sense of release are the most important.

 

You can extend it beyond 15 minutes if you like.  When you involve someone else it is called “D.O.ing” for deliberate orgasm.  

One important addition to the four steps above is your headspace: focus on the pleasure you are feeling, not where you are going.  Pleasure orientation vs. goal orientation is the most important part.

A man and woman exploring female orgasm

 

I have been teaching extended orgasm for 17 years in the Pleasure Course and my advanced programs. 

 

Some learn it quickly; some take longer.

 

There is no better addition to one’s sex life, whether you are single, dating, in a new relationship or married.