Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011
We have gotten such good reports from participants in the Oracle of Life & Love,
and Romance Coaching, on your practice of DOing and Extended Orgasm that we
are going summarize a basic pattern that you can follow in your learning practice.
Although this is a basic pattern, the skills for some of the steps were/are covered in
the Pleasure Course or one of our advanced programs. The skills are actually quite
advanced; the pattern will help you put it all together.
These are basics, and like “standards” in music, they feel/sound great. Like the Sensuality Exercises, they are ways to guarantee that you have a good time and that your sensual research progresses. At times, and more and more so over the years,
you will alter these basics, but don’t take them for granted. Even the most complex Jazz is based in scales and standard musical progressions. Try playing Jazz with out scales… some have tried; it’s interesting for about 5 minutes.
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Here are some basics on the path of extended orgasm, giving and receiving:
1. Set up the time and space to be attractive and relaxed (15 minutes + is recommended, music smell, etc.).
2. Take the roles of cause and effect; sit in that position. |
Doer or Cause:
3. Always keep your attention on your partner’s pleasure, deriving your
pleasure from this.
4. Start with slow deep, more massage like, pressure on legs.
5. Do some deep touch to really connect with your partner.
(All of that can take between one minute and 5 minutes, standard.)
6. Position DO towel
7. Apply lubricant in one smooth stroke with left hand.
8. Put hands in the basic DOing position (DOing lefty if possible for men)
9. After establishing contact with your partner’s most sensitive spot (upper left
hand quadrant of the clitoris, or apex of a man’s sex) gradually move from
firmer strokes to lighter strokes.
10. For most people the stroke on a woman’s genitals should be lighter and
shorter that what they might be inclined to do.
11. Take your partner up and down by alternating gradually changing pressure.
12. Peak your partner with any kind of slight change or pause in your stroke.
13. Build a dome shaped orgasm.
14. Keep a sexy yet specific dialogue going with your partner.
15. Bring your partner down with firmer pressure.
16. Towel your partner off.
DOee or effect:
17. Keep your attention on your partner’s stroke.
18. Surrender to your DOer such that you are at effect (you can ask for changes
but do it from a surrendered, effect, approving place).
19. Push your genitals out in a consistent yet relaxed way.
20. Spread your toes.
21. Experiment with moving your toes and/or creating a few deliberate
contractions in your genitals if that helps get you into involuntary movement
in your toes and genitals.
22. Tell your partner what feels good.
23. Really let go into the ride.
24. Stay relaxed but alert (so you don’t zone out or blow out from the height of
feeling).
25. Afterwards, share your favorite frames with your DOer and express how
gratified you are, leaving your DOer feeling like a winner.
Now, those are the basics of what to do, but the most important part, no matter
what role you are in, is your intention and willingness to have a good time.
Also, don’t focus on a goal of orgasm. If you do what is described above, the person
at effect will reach a level of sensation where the body goes into extended orgasm
with all of the involuntary movements and sense of release.
There you have it. Enjoy!
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, better sex, female orgasm, sexual pleasure, turn-on
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011
The two biggest relationship problems that people complain about sexually are:
1. Finding a partner &
2. Decreased sexual interest in the partner they find!
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People have difficulty finding partners for 3 reasons and they all relate to the person’s relationship blueprint. They either think they’re not good enough or they think the other person (any potential partner) isn’t good enough or some combination.
The main reasons for decreased sexual interest in a partner are decreased chemistry (due to mental distraction or stress), life circumstance (they are simply to busy or fatigue) and mental misinformation (for men it’s prejudice against how women are and |
should be; for women it primarily takes the form of anger and resentment toward men). One addition for male’s decreased chemistry is mini-ejaculations during sex.
The resolution to all this and what makes for great sex and female orgasm is what we practice in all our quarterly sensuality research pools in the Oracle of Life and Love. Firstly, partners are handled. The circumstance is ideal and inviting of sensuality. And lastly, the group openness and positivity support everyone is staying out of his or her head and having a good time. Handling the circumstance and one’s mind are the keys having great sex.
These practices are something you can bring into your sex life… if you deem sensuality worthy of research.
Tags: better sex, female libido, female orgasm, relationship advice
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, August 16th, 2011
We’re taking a real turn here folks. From contact and intimacy to extended orgasm. We just completed the Sensuality Expansion Program and J & H were fantastic. A theme of the program was the 3 essentials of Extended Orgasm.
Here they are in order:
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Connection
Being connected, in good contact, with your partner is critical. Feeling the same thing at the same time is the gold standard here.
Going high
Going high means increased sensitivity on subtler and subtler levels of experience. One’s potential for pleasure expands dramatically. “Peaking” is critical for this.
Signs of Orgasm
Involuntary contractions, flushing, engorgement and so on. |
If you bring these 3 primary aspects of extended orgasm into play in the order given of importance you can quickly develop your orgasm and lengthen it. 10 to 15-minute orgasm is the standard for what we call Expert level orgasm and what it takes to graduate the Sensuality Expansion Program. Congratulations to J and H!
Tags: better sex, communication, DOing, female orgasm
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | Comments Off
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
An amazing group of people re-wrote their relationship blueprints and discovered the unlimited happiness and pleasure possible in romance and sex during this July’s Pleasure Course! And we all had an incredible time at the Cocktail Party that followed.
Posted in Having better sex, How to relationship, Personal Growth, Relationship, Romantic Blueprint, Sex | Comments Off
Wednesday, July 6th, 2011
Everyone is challenged sexually. If you open to this and your sex life becomes a place to develop intimacy, a place to learn and grow, then you have a perfect sex life and will experience it as such. In other words, then you will experience it pleasurably.
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If your goal is some type of perfection in terms of the way your sex life looks (to others or yourself), an ego goal, then you will not experience your sex life pleasurably. That is always an experience of sexual scarcity, no matter how much sex you are having and no matter how that sex goes.
Alicia and I have a perfect sex life not because of the 30 years of research into sexuality, extended orgasm and so on, but rather because we embrace our sex life as a place to grow together and experience new heights of pleasure together.
Singles often (secretly) find their sex life wrong because it rarely meets the quantity and quality that they would like. Couples (secretly) almost always have the same issue! |
If on the other hand you embrace your sex life, lean into it, use it as a place to learn and grow, instead of judging yourself about it, then you will find it perfect… and it will grow!
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, better sex, openness, Personal Growth, sexual pleasure
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | Comments Off
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
Your sensual potential is unlimited.
This is a section of the final write up from Aaron’s Sensuality Expansion Program. “DOing” is the technique of creating a 15-minute orgasm (or longer) in a woman’s body. I think these selected paragraphs will be useful and fun in your journey of sensual expansion. Enjoy:
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“Our first DO date exposed just the areas that we needed help with. Perfect! Erwan and Alicia were so loving they modeled the love and curiosity that is the cornerstone of enlightened living and sexing. My coaching from Erwan was “Be raw and DO her.” He further described this as being right where she is going as soon as she gets there, like leading her where she is already going. Graduating the Sensuality Expansion Program is going to require that I lead by paying attention, be raw, and cultivate the single minded focus needed to actually see the subtlety of a woman.” |
This is a section of the final write up from Kelsey’s Sensuality Expansion Program.
“New themes for each of us came up as the structure of DOing began to shed light on how each of our egos show up in moments of intimacy. For Aaron it was “leaning into the intensity of subtlety” and for me it was “Womaning Up!” Erwan pointed out to us that there was a point near the middle of our dates where we were having trouble maintaining our connection and that he was still having to get us over that hump. This is exactly what was happening when we were DOing on our own, and without their coaching, we were getting into arguments in the middle of dates.
What I got out of the Sensuality Expansion Program is a deep sensual connection to myself and to Aaron, as well as the knowledge and skills to access that depth of connection anytime—and I now understand how that access is the key to our relationship growing more and more pleasurable over time!”
Find their full writeups, and those of other graduates, here!
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
An amazing group of people re-wrote their relationship blueprints and discovered the unlimited happiness and pleasure possible in romance during this February’s Pleasure Course!
Posted in Having better sex, How to relationship, Personal Growth, Relationship, Romantic Blueprint, Sex | Comments Off
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
After teaching singles and couples how to have 15-minute orgasm for the last nearly 20 years I can tell you there is nothing better you can add to a relationship to accelerate it, at least in the turn on department. It’s the best relationship advice I could give you in the sex department.
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In two of our advanced programs, the Oracle of life and love and the Oracle of sex, money and power, we have been having sensuality research pools over the last two weeks and Alicia and I have been blown away by people’s ability to give and receive pleasure.
The technique is called DOing, standing for deliberate orgasm. |
One person plays the role of cause (the “Doer”) the other plays the role of effect (being done to or the “DOee”). Doing involves manual stimulation, usually between two people, but someone can do it to himself or herself as well
The most important point for the doer is having their full attention on the pleasure of the doee. The most important point for the doee is surrendering to their doer. This establishes connection. Connection is key.
Communication is the next most important point. Talk approvingly both ways!
The Doer should “peak” their partner regularly. This means taking mini breaks while stroking your partner, from a tenth of a second to several seconds. These breaks stop the cummer from spiking up really fast and going over a hard edge (traditional climax orgasm) and instead extend the sensation.
When the cummer reaches what we call the Orgasm line, where the body just hints at going into involuntary contractions, the most obvious sign of orgasm, back off and slow down. This will keep you in a state of orgasm without crashing over a hard edge. Also push your genitals out, keep them relaxed (vs. clenched) throughout but especially at this point.
The orgasm will be higher and more relaxed than you are used to… and of course of much longer duration.
There are about a million other points I could mention, but these are among the most important. Realistically, to learn 15-minute orgasm requires training and practicing. The Sensuality Expansion Program is where we do our highest level training with singles and couples, but our other advanced programs and vacation courses are a great place to start : )
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, better sex, communication, DOing, extended orgasm, female orgasm, how to orgasm, relationship advice
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
The essential element is to stay present. If you are present extraordinary experiences unfold.
I was thinking of calling this entry “15-minute Orgasm – Not blowing out”.
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In the Sensuality Expansion Program we just led, we worked with the DOer repeatedly on expanding his ability to stay present during the high peaks of female orgasm.
To stay present do these things
1. Focus on the contact point
a. Doers on your finger on her clitoris
b. Cummers on your clitoris at the point of contact
2. Feel and express your sensation both ways |
With her (in the Sensuality Expansion Program) we worked, not so much on staying present for high peaks, but staying continually present v.s. “on and off”.
The being of 15-minute orgasm is simply being present.
Intimacy is what arises at a much higher level than what we are used to. This intimacy is usually resisted quite strongly and subtly. One is likely to not even know one is resisting intimacy or not being present.
So it requires more of a heart willingness than an understanding. The Being of 15-minute orgasm is Openness… openness to all things, intimacy being the most challenging.
The intimacy is physical so it can be much more pleasurable but also much more deep.
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, better sex, DOing, female orgasm, intimacy, openness, pleasure, sexual pleasure
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 11th, 2011
The number one thing you can do to increase sexual energy is to structure your life in a way that doesn’t stress you out. When human beings are stressed, the sex drive plummets. This is the biggest cause of loss of male and female libido.
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The second thing you can do is practice being in your body. Being in your head puts you in a very confined, mental space which tends not to be a juicy, sexual, embodied space.
The third thing you can do is understand female extended orgasm and that women are the source of sexual energy. The ability to feel and notice and acknowledge turn-on in women (especially in yourself, if you are a woman) is critical to increasing sexual energy.
Finally, if you’re a man, another thing you can do is reduce the frequency of going over a hard edge and ejaculating (this applies to women as well, though not as much because bodily fluid isn’t expended). This can be a tough thing to do, for obvious reasons. Ejaculating consumes a tremendous amount of sexual energy. |
For teenagers, I recommend once per week, for middle age, once per month, and for older age, once every few months. In order to be successful at this, you need to have your life structured so you can be relaxed (back to the first point above), otherwise the built up energy turns into tension. This is something I practice, and it makes all the difference in the world.
These techniques require intention and practice, and the rewards really are incredible!
Tags: extended orgasm, female libido, female orgasm, sexual energy, sexual pleasure, turn-on
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
1. Decide ahead of time to have a great time and enjoy yourself no matter what. Release your mind and the past (which is a spiritual practice).
2. Actively move your energy into his hands, your hips, genitals, legs, and feet vs your head.
3. Trust your doer completely – don’t try to control him, just feel where he is taking you.
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4. Be vocal – let the orgasm come through your vocal cords.
5. Focus your attention on the contact point between his finger and your clitoris.
6. Feel each stroke.
7. Push your genitals out gently.
8. Lean into the sensation – no matter what the sensations is you will experience extreme pleasure by leaning into it fully.
9. Spread your fingers and toes. |
10. It takes something to have extended orgasm – it takes ongoing training and it also takes giving yourself to sexual pleasure fully EACH TIME, no matter how much or how little training you have.
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, female orgasm, how to orgasm, intention, sexual pleasure
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Having better sex, Sex | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, December 28th, 2010
Whether in a relationship or not, everyone has relationship problems and hangups. Sexual hangups may seem uncommon because people don’t talk about them as much, but they’re common as well. These hangups can be small or they can be huge.
| In over 17 years of studying and teaching this work, I’ve found that the biggest sexual hangup for women is feeling frigid, a lack of sexual apetite or interest. The biggest sexual hangups for men are having trouble keeping an erection or, almost the opposite, ejaculating early.
A sexual hangup is really negative sexual material in what I call one’s “blueprint”. Ones blueprint is one’s ego. It is the identification system a person is looking though when relating with people and the world. This blueprint is made up of memories of oneself in relation to another, associated with an emotion (for example a small guilty self in fear of a punishing father). It is these memories and emotions which can pull you out of your body and interfere with any sex act. |
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Fundamentally, the best way I’ve found to deal with these memories and emotions is to feel them fully as they come up. This can be particularly difficult to do when they come up during sex! But doing this will open you up to the unlimited pleasure and love available to all of us.
Tags: better sex, blueprint, sexual pleasure
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 9 Comments »
Sunday, December 12th, 2010
1. Start touching yourself the way you normally would to get yourself going.
2. Then take frequent mini breaks in your stroking, like half a second every few strokes. This is like taking your foot off of the accelerator.
3. Before going over the edge, relax your body and push your genitals out (instead of the usual tendency to clench). This will further decelerate you from crashing over a hard edge.
4. Experiment with the above and you will find that your body will be able to hold all the signs of male and female orgasm for an extended period. Involuntary contractions of the genital muscles and a sense of release are the most important.
| You can extend it beyond 15 minutes if you like. When you involve someone else it is called “D.O.ing” for deliberate orgasm.
One important addition to the four steps above is your headspace: focus on the pleasure you are feeling, not where you are going. Pleasure orientation vs. goal orientation is the most important part. |
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I have been teaching extended orgasm for 17 years in the Pleasure Course and my advanced programs.
Some learn it quickly; some take longer.
There is no better addition to one’s sex life, whether you are single, dating, in a new relationship or married.
Tags: 15 minute orgasm, better sex, DOing, extended orgasm, female orgasm, how to orgasm, sexual pleasure
Posted in 15 minute orgasm, Sex | 13 Comments »
Sunday, August 8th, 2010
One of the keys to getting connected when engaged in sensual contact is to begin the sex act connected. This is because you’re not likely to get more connected than you started. During a sex act, the act may become more sexual, it may deepen, things may open up, but because of the intensity of sex, if you’re disconnected from the person from the start, you’re likely to drift more into your own separate space amidst all of the emotions, thoughts, and body sensations that sex is.
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Last Monday in the Oracle of Life and Love, someone asked how to be vulnerable. We told him that the bottom line is to take risks. This really is the path way to getting connected with someone. You get connected to someone by risking yourself, by being intimate with the person, and relative to sex, you want to start from this platform. Taking risks may look like telling the other person what feels good, asking for something, sharing how you’re feeling or asking the other person how they’re feeling. |
For me personally, deepening my relationship with Alicia both sexually and non-sexually is often a process of feeling through a sense of withdrawal, a sense of separateness, which stems in part from being an only child. The risk for me really is not to withdraw, and instead to feel through the desire to separate and really reach out and be physical.
To wrap up, you can get connected by taking risks, by being open, and by being vulnerable with the other person. And in sex, get connected first. It could take five minutes to get connected, which could look like having a five minute conversation with the other person, or it may take only a second, just giving a little wink. Either way, if you start connected, sex can really be incredible.
Tags: better sex, communication, Personal Growth, vulnerability
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | Comments Off
Thursday, July 29th, 2010
Before we talk about what to say, we should ask, why communicate during sex? There are really four reasons. First, talking about what you’re doing is a good way to keep your mind on what you’re doing. The biggest cause of decreased sexual appetite (whether male or female libido) is mental distraction.
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We all have a tendency to think about work, or the shopping list, or some errand we need to run. Talking really keeps you in the moment. The second reason is because talking adds to the amount of sensation and increases sexual pleasure. In the 17 years I’ve been doing this, when people communicate, they report that sensation increases for both the talker and listener. The third reason to talk is because talking promotes learning for |
each person. You both get educated, and educate the other person about what feels good and what doesn’t. It really is a way to uncover men and women’s secrets, and is how to build and maintain a healthy relationship. Finally the fourth and probably most important reason is that talking is pleasurable. People often have difficulty with talking in the beginning, they say it takes them out of the moment or they get hung up on what to say, so it does take some learning, but it’s worth it for all of the previous reasons, and especially because it’s pleasurable to do.
There are three things you can talk about. The first is, talk about what you’re noticing, how things look or feel or smell. The second thing to talk about is how much you’re enjoying the experience. This really feels good for you and the other person, and juices the whole situation up. Finally, you can talk positively about the person or circumstance. You can talk about how well the other person is doing, how romantic the space is that was setup, that you’re glad you set aside the time to do this, etc.
I remember, before I started researching sensuality, women had always felt sort of distant to me, even while we were making love. Certainly there would be moments of connection, but there was generally a distance and mystery about the other person and what was going on, and it always put me in my head. Then, I remember a moment 20 years ago, I was touching a woman, and she said to me, “That’s the spot!” And I could actually feel on my finger how good that spot felt, and all of a sudden I realized that we were both feeling the same thing. In that moment I learned how the most sensitive spot on a woman’s clitoris feels. It really was her communication that allowed me to feel that and learn that.
I’ll wrap up by giving some specific things you could say:
- “Would you….?” (Would you go a little slower, would you lighten the pressure, would you move to the left, etc).
- “Thank you!” It’s important to complete the cycle of communication. If you ask for something, and the person responds, even if they didn’t get it totally right, complete the cycle, say thank you, and that way you can move cleanly on to the next communication.
- “That feels great!” Approval is very important. And don’t be afraid to use the same compliment over and over again. What’s important is that you authentically approve of what is going on.
- If you’re the DOer: “Your (clitoris, cock, skin, etc) feels (silky, engorged, etc)” A specific approval works very well. Detail can really be exquisite. You could also describe how something looks or smells, etc.
- If you’re the DOee: “Your (finger, hand…) feels (electric, like it’s pulling the pleasure out of me, etc)”
The bottom line really is, say things that make the other person feel good. Say things that are pleasurable. It really is that simple. And, you’ll notice that those are the things that have you feel good too.
Tags: better sex, communication, DOing, female libido, sexual pleasure
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
Alicia and I get asked thousands of questions about sex every year. The sex question people ask us the most is “How do I have more sex?” The question is usually not asked that straightforwardly, but that usually is the question that is actually being asked.
| The answer to this question is very different from a woman’s point of view than from a man’s point of view. From a woman’s point of view, the key is turn-on. Women have a very natural ability to be turned-on, sensual, and attractive. Learning how to access, cultivate, and use the female libido is key. There are many reasons a woman might avoid being turned-on: it can be risky, it’s vulnerable, and it’s certainly sensational, but the truth of the matter is turn-on really is the way to get more sex.
The best way to go about developing your turn on as a woman is by acknowledging and |
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feeling it in your body. You can play with the clothing you wear, practice DOing yourself, read books, etc. The key is really being intentional about approving of whatever level of turn-on you have, because at any given moment there really is some level of turn-on going on in your body.
From a man’s point of view, there are two keys: being fun, and finding out what she wants. If he’s being fun and finding out what she wants, it will gradually go towards what human beings are wired up biologically to want, which is really ecstatic sexual pleasure and romantic love. Being fun really means being light, being playful, flirting. It’s really having the focus on having a good time. There’s a certain amount of this that is being in charge, being strong, being fun in the masculine way that women are really drawn to and that will turn her on, and that’s balanced by finding out what she wants, by his attention being on her. To sum it up, he’s in charge of giving her what she wants.
In my own life growing up I was a bit of a wreck (for a variety of reasons that we will explore at a later point!) and I think women actually liked that because there was a lot of motion, a lot of action. I think that was fun for them. And in terms of paying attention and finding out what they wanted, I’m just blessed that I got some hints!
You many notice that these three skills are the skills of the “new and exciting” stage of romantic relationship. This is why a new relationship typically has so much juice and energy and sex. When people enter the middle game of relationship or marriage, they often leave these skills behind, and the sexual pleasure and frequency diminish.
Diminishing sex and sexual pleasure is one of the most common relationship problems we encounter. The way to get more sex is go right back to what you were doing on your first date: be turned-on, fun, and find out what she wants.
Tags: approval, attention, better sex, DOing, having fun, intention, relationship problems, sexual pleasure, turn-on
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 6 Comments »
Friday, May 28th, 2010
Every day Alicia and I discover more and more how female orgasm is the secret to greater and greater sexual pleasure. Sensual pleasure and sexual pleasure has been our focus for a combined 25 years of teaching people how to have, not only good relationships, but exceptionally turned on relationships! We are firm believers that a woman’s pleasure is the key to better sex for both him and her.
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In addition to the sensual pleasure, great sex continually dissolves relationship problems as well as bringing intimacy and connection. The female libido has long been overlooked but, in the end, few people would deny their interest. Building a relationship that is so vibrantly and sexually charged, that it turns him and turns her on more than when it was a new relationship is something everyone desires.
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This morning Alicia and I had the best sex of our relationship, 8 years into it… and that is normal for us. Our lives as relationship advice givers, sexuality teachers, and teachers of personal growth take us to all kinds of highs and lows. At the same time, our sex life connects us in true love and increasingly greater sexual pleasure creating an enjoyable center to our relationship, our work and our lives.
Tags: better sex, female libido, female orgasm, sexual pleasure
Posted in Having better sex, How to relationship, Relationship, Sex | 1 Comment »
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
The question comes in many ways, from singles, couples, men and women: How do I have better sex, I want to learn how to orgasm, is there a way to enhance male or female libido, what is female orgasm?
How to handle somebody sexually is the key. We call that “DOing” somebody. And you must “DO” the whole person.
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The first part of DOing somebody is DOing their head. That’s really their mind, the romantic part of their mind in particular. The way you DO somebody romantically is to appeal to what interests them. Find out what kind of music they like, where they like to eat, their favorite food. If you appeal to what interests the person, they will become interested in you. In the process of doing this, you enter their emotional body. |
As you put attention on them, as you grow closer to them romantically, you enter that emotional part of them, that tender part, a kind of a meeting of heart to heart.
First you DO somebody romantically, then you DO them sensually. Sensual pleasure is really about their body. It’s the physical body, but also the energy in their body. You accomplish this by getting them into their senses. People think of manipulation as a negative thing, but this is a type of positive manipulation, this is putting somebody at effect, handling the space and the time so they can relax and enjoy. As you’re getting them into their senses you want to feel what generates sexual excitement. Maybe you’ll notice certain smells that turn them on, or maybe certain types of environments: the living room, the bedroom, the massage room, whatever it happens to be. Certain parts of their bodies may turn them on more than others. As it becomes more physical, it becomes tenderer, and even more vulnerable. So as the DOer, you really want to take care of them, you really want to make sure they’re feeling good.
DOing somebody is like a culmination, a build. You DO their head, you DO their body, and now you’re touching them in ways that turn them on. If you keep doing that, you’ll find that you’ll increasingly move toward their sex: their sex energy and their sex organs. Finally, you’re DOing them sexually. There you focus on sexual arousal, on orgasm and ecstatic bodily pleasure. If you touch their sex with increasing pleasure, you’ll notice that what feels good to you is actually what feels good to them. They will move into a greater state of bodily pleasure, eventually to the point of orgasm, and even sustained orgasm. The potential really is infinite!
Approach sexual pleasure deliberately: DO them romantically first, then sensually, and finally sexually.
Tags: better sex, female libido, female orgasm, how to orgasm, sexual pleasure
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
The discipline of psychology was formed on Freud’s two crucial insights: the importance of sex (that this was biologically the driving motivation of the being, called male or female libido) and the discovery of the unconscious (at least to the Western world). He stated that having orgasm is crucial for the gratification (happiness) and full functionality of every human being. People were so reactivated by this that Freud spent his whole life defending the simple insight that sex was a primal drive and crucially important to human happiness and functioning. He was so busy dealing with people’s resistance that he never even conceived of the logical next conclusion: that beyond normalcy is excellence. At Erwan Davon Teachings we take it from there… What happens to a person’s overall life happiness when having orgasm becomes having exteded orgasm? What happens when a human being masters having great sex?
Tags: better sex, female libido, female orgasm, happiness, sexual pleasure
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Monday, September 1st, 2008
Your love life is only as good as you can talk about it. Sex is a subset of communication (Vic Baranco said that). If someone can’t talk about their sex life in detail, they can’t really be with it. It is a myth that sexual experiences are indescribable. It is also a myth that talking about sex, before or during or after, somehow diminishes it. For the most part, people aren’t used to talking about it; so yes, early on, it is difficult and can slow things down. But, in the long run, talking about your sex life (before, during AND after!) adds tremendous enjoyment, intimacy and learning.
Tags: better sex, communication
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Friday, February 1st, 2008
A student recently asked, “How can I increase how much I am feeling during sex?” This student had some elementary sense of Expanded Orgasm technique (what is the most sensitive part of the clitoris, communication style, and so forth) so we answered the question with a concise, “Increase your intention.” The student’s eyes lit up as they said, “I got that!” There is an infinite amount of technique and it is worth studying, but at some point a person must simply intend and intend fully. Strategy can only take you so far. It never replaces where your heart is in the matter! And intention is something you have everything to say about.
Tags: better sex, intention, sexual pleasure
Posted in Having better sex, Sex | 1 Comment »
Saturday, September 1st, 2007
Rarely do human beings study, research and seriously learn about what we are the most interested in. Sex is a good example of that. There is a hidden barrier of fear, trepidation and mistrust. What would people think? Where could this lead? Will I be OK? Will I be good at it? Typically, learning tennis or how to use a computer program doesn’t carry this kind of charge. We study it and learn it and get better at it to the degree that we seriously engage the topic. Sex, relationships, and enlightenment are the same way… but we have these fears and concerns. Are these topics worth overcoming our fears and taking action anyway?
As in with any subject or interest, studying relationship and sex really is key in having a good relationship and great sex!
Tags: better sex, relationship advice, schedule
Posted in Having better sex, How to relationship, Relationship, Sex | Comments Off
Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
How do you have pleasure now… fun now… happiness now… instead of waiting for it to turn out someday? The normal progressive and linear approach of seeking and searching for happiness doesn’t work… have you noticed? Happiness is always around the bend, somewhere in the future! What works is the actual realization of the state and condition of happiness. It is the realization of who you really are behind all the mental chatter. This type of personal growth is a spiritual process. This realization can then inform and guide your life, and this simple yet radical approach relieves you of the chronic and frustrating approach of endlessly trying to achieve happiness through producing results, whether in your career, relationships, sex life or any other aspect of your life. Paradoxically, living happily and pleasurably will naturally produce far greater results in all areas of life… including having a better sex life!
Tags: better sex, happiness, Personal Growth
Posted in Being Happy, Having better sex, Personal Growth, Sex | 1 Comment »
