Tonight we are going to focus on three very useful things to know sexually: How to talk someone into bed, sex positions in bed, and some key points on giving and receiving extended orgasm.

Probably the most important point in talking someone into bed is don’t talk too much! Physically escalate the interaction instead. Make that the primary means of getting them into bed. Relate directly to their body. It is a good idea to have some pleasant positive topics to chat about, but you are unlikely to talk them into bed. The chat topics are more for handling their minds, their relationship blueprints, handling their resistance by occupying their minds. You can even talk about the weather if you are escalating the interaction physically. They won’t be bored. Their bodies will feel it.

Physical escalation looks like everything from flirtatious glances to light touches on the arm, to brushing against them, to touching their shirt or jewelry or clothing (while giving a complement), to more overtly sexual touches.

There are two keys to physical escalation: little by little and touch and release. By doing it this way you will turn them on and not set off their resistance. It’s not hard for people to move from chatting to light friendly touches to a barely flirtatious touch, and so on if you go gradually and keep letting go after you touch. You will also get a sense of how they are responding. Back off occasionally for the fun of it, or if they resist, then restart. Bodies like touch. Talk them into bed with your body!

In terms of conversation, have fun positive topics at hand. Topics that suggest sensuality and sex without being too forward. For example, the question, “What kind of girl (or guy) are you?” is a suggestive question. If you are flirting with someone and you ask that question, they will feel more sexual, even if they don’t admit it. Why? Because everyone is a sexual person and that is the underlying context of the flirtatious interaction. Again, they don’t need to admit it. They just need to feel it. Their not admitting it directly is probably to your benefit in seducing them. You want them to feel it.

Other example of topics include things like, “I had so much fun yesterday roller skating!” “God, this humid air feels great.” “Life’s a roller coater, the most fun roller coaster I ever went on was…”. They’ll feel it. That’s what you are looking for. Then touch them!

Once things are really rolling you can bring up more overtly sexual topics like, “I learned all these great sex positions,” our next topic tonight.

Of course, we’ll start with the standard extended orgasm date position of one person sitting by the others side. This is optimal for cause and effect, communication and manual stimulation. This position can be transformed into the “two headed monster”, by each person laying on their side and stimulating each other simultaneously. Optimal oral sex from a woman to a man involves her stimulating not just the head and shaft of his cock but his balls and the bottom of his cock below his balls as well. These are often overlooked. Optimal cunniligus should focus on her clitoris, where there are the most nerve endings and occasionally involve her to opening of the vaginal canal where there are also a great deal of nerve endings. These can be combined into an optimal 69. The keys to the 69 position are her on top, both people comfortable, and him not craning his neck to reach her, but rather using a pillow. The two headed monster and 69 are great positions for creating a circular energy circuit through both people’s bodies.

A great, and neglected, position for intercourse is the Holy Cross. It is a scissor position where the partners bodies are perpendicular to each other and he can manipulate her clitoris while they fuck. Putting the woman on top and holding her hands criss-crossed behind her back also works well for fucking and puts the woman at effect. In this position the woman stays relaxed and the man does the thrusting even though he is underneath. Doggy Style fucking had two variations: the standard and her on her stomach. The stomach position works well as she is very relaxed. He can put his legs outside hers, which is rarely done, but very pleasurable for both partners.

Once you’ve talked them into bed and are going at it, bring the principles of extended orgasm into the whole sex act. Here are the most important points. Get her going first! Her pleasure is his pleasure. Have a pleasure focus vs. a goal focus. You are much more likely to reach the level of sensitivity required for extended orgasm with this focus vs. trying to get somewhere. Slow down so that you can keep your bodies relaxed. This way when you reach the level of sensitivity required for orgasm you won’t crash down but will rather extend the orgasm, potentially as long as you want. Deliberately alternate smoothly between firm and light pressure so you bring your partner up and down. This way you will go higher and higher. Occasional peaks (breaks or changes in the stroke) are also key to bringing each other to greater levels of sensation. Bring your partners down at the end so they can function!

There you have it. It’s a lot for a single session, but I wanted to put all this out there so we can focus in on the areas of your choosing tonight and next week.

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